A Song of Provision

During the 1985-86 school year, I served as Special Education Homebound Teacher to a five-year-old minx.  {Names have been changed to ensure privacy.}

Catey was raped by her father at the age of 3, contracted Hepatitis B, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which often manifested in episodes of rage.  After 25 foster homes in 18 months, she was placed with Jane and Artie, a couple in whom God had placed the desire to become foster parents to children with special needs.  Jane had been my paraprofessional in a preschool class for students with significant disabilities several years earlier, so she was confident that they would be able to help Catey.

Back then, there was a lot of misinformation about how Hep B was passed from one person to another.  There was much fear among parents of other students and the faculty at the school she would have attended.  Even after talking with doctors in New Orleans and providing information to parents and teachers, there were still threats of a mass exodus of students and faculty if Catey was allowed to attend school on campus.

I don't know if I can adequately describe how freaked out people were about Hep B in those days.  One of the secretaries in our office was undergoing chemo treatment at the time and she was concerned about contracting it from me simply because I was in the home and touched  Catey or things that she had touched.  My husband at that time was concerned that I would bring it home to our children or to him.  There were "Letters to the Editor", calls to the School Board Office, news cameras and news hounds hovering.  It was intense!  They didn't see Catey as a precious child who wanted to go to school and learn; they saw her as a threat to life and health.

When Catey's IEP Team met to determine how to serve her needs, we considered her emotional and physical health as well as her educational needs.  It was our belief that because Catey had been been in so many different foster situations and exhibited such severe emotional and behavioral problems, serving her in the Homebound setting would be best for at least this one year.  Yes, the medical diagnosis played a role in our decision - but it was certainly not the main factor, no matter how loud the furor. 

I was privileged to be her teacher.  Yes, I really mean that it was a privilege and a joy to teach her.  She had beautiful olive skin, a mop top full of dark bouncy curls and chocolate brown eyes that sparkled with mischief.  Catey had some slight articulation deficits and pronounced all of her "r's" as "w's" which endeared her to me all the more. The biggest blessing for Catey was that Jane and Artie were Christians who truly lived what they believed.  Catey went to church at a local Assembly of God Church with them, she was learning about Jesus in Rainbow Girls, and she believed in the power of prayer.

One afternoon when I arrived for our class session, I had the most awful sinus headache.  What I really wanted to do was to go home and crawl under the covers till it went away.  When I sat down at the dining room table with Catey, she said, "What's ah mattah Miss Mawsha?  You not 'miling today."  I explained about my headache and before I could finish, she crawled on top of the table, placed her chubby little hands on my forehead and said, "Let's pway foe it."  Then she began to pray for me.  I don't remember all the things she said, but I do remember feeling the presence of the Lord surrounding us and that my headache went away immediately.  God listened to this tiny tot.

Sometimes while we worked, she would experience flashbacks from the abuse.  Like a domino effect, the flashbacks triggered rage, and rage turned into torn or thrown books and materials.  I don't remember her ever physically attacking anyone, but anything that could be raked onto the floor or ripped was subject to the rage.  She would shriek as if the very hounds of hell were about to devour her.  Whenever that would happen, Jane would come over to the table and we would stop to pray together for Catey.  One of us would hold her closely on our lap and the other would lay hands on her as we prayed.  We simply asked for God to blanket Catey with calm and peace and to replace those horrible memories with something wonderful.  God listened to our prayers too.

One afternoon as Jane went about her daily household tasks, Catey and I began our lessons at the table.  Jane was in the living area vacuuming when Catey indicated she needed to use the bathroom.  I asked if she needed any help but she said she was a big girl.  So I waited at the table and prepared our next activity.  As suddenly as thick fog rolling in from the sea, I felt the presence of the Lord so strongly that I couldn't move. The weight of His presence very tangibly held me in place and bid me to bow my head and close my eyes. Just as suddenly, Jane turned off the vacuum and went to her knees.  She felt Him too.

In the stillness of the apartment, we could hear Catey's sing-song voice.  "Aww, tha's so pwetty!  Look at all the spawkles! "  When she came into view from the hallway, we could see that Catey appeared to be holding someone's hand, but no one was there.  As she walked, she looked around as if she was seeing things we couldn't see.  She enthusiastically described her stroll and pointed out objects of interest as she walked through the streets of Heaven holding hands with her Friend.

As Catey reached the table and began climbing up into her chair, the Lord's Presence lifted but Jane and I were frozen a few moments longer - savoring His sweet Presence.  Catey, clearly ready to get back to work, said, "Okay, Miss Mawsha.  What we doin' now?"  Class resumed - but I was forever changed.

Jane and I talked later about our experience and both of us know that for those precious moments, our Catey was transported to Heaven.  We believe that something triggered a memory so horrible that her mind could not bear it.  So that memory was replaced by a walk through Heaven's streets.  God knew her need and He Provided for her. 

What makes us, as adults, think God loves us less or provides for us less than He did for Catey?  God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.  He's ever faithful and never changing.  His attention doesn't stray and He never sleeps.  He's always watching and caring for His Children.

Whenever I feel that God is far away or I can't figure out how to pray, I remember Catey.  I don't know how much I taught her that year because so much of our time was spent on behaviors and emotions that bubbled out of her.  But she taught me so much about God's Love and and His Provision.  He always gives us more than we could ever ask or hope for.

I will bless you with a future filled with hope - a future of success, not of suffering.  Jeremiah 29:11  Contemporary English Version