As I write today, my Aunt Nita, Dad's last survivving sibling, is nearing the moment when she will step into Heaven. Though our family is understandably saddened by that news, we know that doctors have done all that is medically possible here on earth and we don't want her to linger here as she is now.
When I was very, very small and both of my parents worked, Aunt Nita, "kept" me. We moved away before I was old enough to remember staying with her. The last time I talked to her, she told me that she always thought of me as "her" little girl, the one she never had. She loves her sons and their families very much, and she loves all of her nieces and nephews. But she had always wanted a little girl of her own. She told me I was the "next best thing" to having a daughter of her own. (No doubt because she got to send me home at the end of the work day!)
The dynamic of my parents' families is very different. My Mom is one of twelve children, eleven of whom grew to adulthood and went on to have families of their own. Her family is very close-knit and we have a huge family reunion every year. We've grown up knowing not only each other, but all the spouses and too many cousins to count. We don't pay attention to whether we're first, second, third, or fourth cousins - we're all simply Cousins. (It's so much easier that way.) Most of us are on Facebook so we have many opportunities to stay in touch between Reunions.
My Dad's family is very different. He is the "baby" of five children, all of whom had families of their own. But we've been separated by death, divorce and distance over the years. We haven't gathered for a family reunion in well over twenty years. I have only nine first cousins on Dad's side of the family. As adults, six of my cousins and I have "found" each other through Facebook - what a blessing! And we are growing closer now through our "Walls" - sharing photos of our children and grandchildren and learning about one anothers' lives. It isn't that my Dad's family members love each other any less than those in my Mom's family; it's just that we haven't had the same opportunities to be together or to know the spouses and generations of cousins. Aunt Nita's the one who called everyone and kept our "family ties" securely knotted.
Almost three years ago my Mom was diagnosed with Lymphoma and a few months later, my Dad was diagnosed with Kidney Failure. Aunt Nita would call them first to find out how they were doing or what the latest report from their doctors indicated. Then she would call me saying, "I know they're not telling me everything, so you tell me the truth. How are they really doing?" If Aunt Nita couldn't catch me, she'd call my sister or brothers. Our family would chuckle about her calls because Mom and Dad really were telling her everything; but at the same time, we loved knowing that she loved us all enough to call.
A week ago on Saturday morning, I received a phone call from my Dad about Aunt Nita. We have known for some months now that dementia was stealing her away from us little by little. She hasn't known me for about a year and the last time my Dad called to talk to her, she didn't know him either. She believes Uncle Doc, her husband of over 60 years, is "Daddy" and she wonders when Daddy will come to see her. Uncle Doc is in a Rehab facility recovering from a broken hip. At 92, his mind is sharp but his body is very frail.
Aunt Nita contracted pneumonia and was hospitalized about a month ago. Doctors were able to cure the pneumonia, but Aunt Nita's body is not healing. She's on a feeding tube because everything she swallows aspirates to her lungs. Doctors have told us that there is nothing else they can do but keep her comfortable. Last week, Aunt Nita was transferred to the facility where Uncle Doc is so that they could spend these last days together. And Hospice is in charge of her care. We dread hearing the telephone ring because we know *THAT* call is coming soon.
Our prayer is that Aunt Nita will be granted clarity of mind long enough to say goodbye to her beloved Doc, and that she not hang around here on earth one moment past when God's purpose for her life as been fulfilled.
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